In recent years there’s been an influx of articles on my online newsfeed about being empathic. Introverted. Sensitive. Intriguingly awesome. It seems the wallflowers are finally having their day.
I’m glad because we’ve had a bad rap. We’re quiet. We don’t like parties. We’re too nice. (I love that one.) We get overwhelmed because we try to help too much. And we do that because we feel the pain of others. Yes, we can be too sensitive.
Here’s what I’ve always felt inwardly: that non-empaths are too noisy. Their parties are boring. They could be nicer. They could help more. And they should be more sensitive.
It sounds backwards and slightly harsh when one of us introverts goes on the offense, doesn’t it?
I don’t mean any offense, though. “They” should just keep doing their noisy thing. I love extroverts, too. They have funny stories, right? And they’re easy to talk to (because you don’t have to talk. They do it all!) Of course the world needs lives of the party as much as it needs wallflowers!
But I’m here to talk to the empaths: Are you getting squashed? Are you caring too much for others? Are you a perpetual helper? Are you told (and feel) that you’re too sensitive?
Maybe you’re too sensitive to be out unprotected at loud gatherings and wandering alone in the world of the needy. But you’re not too sensitive to be a healer. Ok, now don’t coil up when you hear the word healer. I know it’s easy to get all weird about it, but that’s a whole other topic. For now let’s say it’s someone who helps others without getting all their energy drained. Better?
“Energy drained.” It’s a saying. We all know what it means. Not all of us take it literally, but what if we did? Because that is exactly what’s happening. Imagine if it were your blood being drained. Wouldn’t it seem really important to cut that out? You need your energy just as much as you need your blood!
Dear friends may have told you to take a step back, to do less, help less. Not me. I say help MORE. Care more. Do more. Heal more. Love more. Do it right and you won’t be drained. You will be energized. You will be with others who are feeding the world, not bleeding it. And it will be easy. And fun. And you will finally have found your party.